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Dec 12 2016

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My first experience with LSD – Part 2

 

This article, like any other article or information on this website, is subject to our Medical Disclaimer.

 

 

 

Report of my first “trip”

I wish your first trip would be like that.

 

PART 2. For the other parts click HERE .

 

“What about going for a walk?” asks my girlfriend, “it’s a beautiful day and there will be still light for more than four hours or so”. “Sure, why not? What a beautiful idea!” – I said since I’m having a great mood and a lot of energy. I tied my shoes and I was ready to go. Well… It took a while before we left since she had to be ready; you know, ladies stuff 😛

We left our home pretty happy, joking and laughing about everything as we do when we are done with the day, ready to enjoy the remaining free time; moreover when the weather is beautiful… and it really was! The spring was knocking at our door, inviting us to seize the occasion; plus… I had taken other 2 quarters of my little square and I didn’t think at all about what was going to happen.

We started walking on the street hand by hand while the trees and the smell of the beautiful flowers allowed me to enjoy even more the walk. The air was a bit fresh but very pleasant and I was already looking forward to “feel something more”. Then something happened; few blocks away from home, I started feeling different. I don’t know precisely how to describe it, nor I  had my notebook with me, so I couldn’t say how much time later I felt what is called “the kick”. From this point on, the tale is going to proceed by different stages rather than by hours.

alberthoffmanbike

Hoffman on his first trip on LSD

“WHEN A TRIP BEGINS YOU GOTTA KEEP GOING!”


The substance started to have its effect and now I could definitely “feel it”. If I was looking for something more, that was definitely the “something more” I was expecting; the previous effect I had in the morning wasn’t even remotely close to it.

I was trying to describe it and I remember that the feeling was similar to the one you experience during a lucid dream. In the latter case, it is possible to realize being in a lucid dream because you can’t remember where the dream started. Conversely, I could remember pretty well when we left home and all the nice chat on the couch with my girlfriend. I remember my thoughts about the difference with lucid dreaming, I remember that I said “I feel as if the part of the brain that switches on while sleeping is now active but at the same time, the consciousness of being awake is there too, since I know that I can’t be in a dream. Basically is like a living dream.”

This feeling persisted while continuing our walk until a picket fence caught my attention. The color was somewhere in between deep purple and burned Sienna, I remember that I asked my girlfriend: “wait a minute, what color do you see here?”

I wanted to understand if the substance was somehow already altering  the perception of my eyes or the way  my brain was processing colors. I remember that I also thought  about the famous debate on the dress color in a picture that went viral on social media for a while and that ended up well explained here .

dress

Black and Blue or White and Gold?

The debate was settled thanks to the notion of “color constancy”, i.e. the fact that the color we see depends entirely on how our brain decides to process the information that it gets, regarding on the surrounding context.

Now, I knew about this phenomena but the question wasn’t what color I could see, but rather what color I could choose to see! It was like thinking “I decide to see the dress white and gold, ok I see it; now decide to see it in black and blue” – And again saying “Ok, I can see it too.” I’m not asserting that I could see both colors of the picket fence at the same time, but that I could definitely choose what to see, like switching on and off a circuit.

picked-fence

Changing the exposition of the picture the color seems to be different. What colors do you see?

The walk continued with the topic of how fascinating is the way our brain processes information and how in many cases we are fooled  by our own perception of the things we see –yes, we do love to discuss these things in our spare time. :-D– until we arrived at the end of the street where there is an intersection and something new was happening to me.

It was somehow becoming clearer the concept that space and time are all one, a unique thing that operates in a togetherness, so I said: “It is obvious that they are one, how could we be so blinded not to realize it? I remember my girlfriend asking “wait, what? How can that be so obvious?” and I answered, “do you see that guy (pointing to a pedestrian), walking on the street, thinking about his own things?” “Yes!” she said. “It has to be like that” I continued, “there isn’t another way, it must be like that and I tell you more, there will NEVER be something similar in the entire history of the entire universe. Does it have any purpose? That’s not the question, the point is that even an insignificant thing like walking on the street while thinking about your own things is something that might make the difference in the entire history of the time and space.”

I was getting very excited and profoundly touched by this feeling but at the same time the feeling of frustration was raising because I was not able in any way, with any words nor using examples, to describe this profound sensation I was experiencing and other people couldn’t feel it. How pity is it to feel something so profound, that when you look around you realize that nobody can experience even the 1% of what you are getting? It is not something that makes you feel special in any way, I just felt that we are all one in a sort of way, and this knowledge belongs to all of us and it always will.

Talking with my girlfriend made me think that this aspect and feeling was something somehow that is deeply wired in our consciousness, and perhaps one day everyone will be able to experience this sense of togetherness.
I could hear myself talking about this things and sounding like a freaky hippie from the ‘70s, but there were no alternative words that would have allowed me in that moment to get closer to what I was experiencing.

Then, I remember I felt very sad because I realized that even if I was “awake” and very aware of those aspects, at the same time I was castrated by the inadequacy of our language.

It felt like if all the words I was using, unfortunately, were misused in the ‘60s-’70s, so that when I utilized people simply thought: “You are just having a trip!”, “You are high!”, “You are on drugs!”.  

If you are thinking that what I am saying doesn’t make any sense, and  it was just a consequence of not being completely myself,  I can guarantee you that I was being COMPLETELY myself and I haven’t had any closer moment of “my selfness” in my entire life.

judge

A common mistake we all make is to judge what we don’t understand rather than investigate more.

“Nevermind, I can’t describe it,” I said to my fiancé, “the more I try, the more I sound like a hippie” –nothing against them, seriously– but the more I tried to make examples and the more I felt the inaccuracy of the words used. It was like if in that moment I would have needed new words to describe those things but those words were unknown to the rest of humanity. How could I communicate with you conveying a closer idea? I tried it but it sounded like being really high in the sky. Therefore… “Nevermind” 🙁




MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ICE CREAM!

Our walk continued along the street and after few blocks, we are at the ice-cream parlor. “Woah, lot of people here! Do you want to go in with me or do you prefer to sit outside?” -asks my girlfriend. I reply “I come in with you, it’s ok.”

The line moves pretty quick and we are almost at the point of choosing our flavors when a new phase started to kick in.

I remember I started to feel overwhelmed and I said: “Woah, there is too much information in here, I can’t stand it, I need to get out.”

I went outside and sat on a bench and the sense of overwhelmingness immediately vanished. In meanwhile, I was still thinking on my inability to communicate appropriately the things felt before when my ice cream was ready and we continued our walk towards the nearby park.

“Before, what did you mean when you said that there was too much information in there?” Asked my girlfriend a bit worried, “I don’t know” I answered, “It’s difficult to describe it..” –I continued, “It was like if all the smells, voices, lights, shades, basically everything in there, was a stimulus for my mind to imagine something else and that something was connected with everything else and I had to think about it without being able to stop it.”

Then I continued “Imagine that every stimulus is a single street that brings you toward an emotion or feeling that you had experienced in the past. If you smell a rose, perhaps you’ll remember the nice feeling when you got one from someone for the first time and you’ll remember that feeling. Now imagine for a second that at the same time, you’ll take also many other streets towards all the other feeling or emotions connected to all the other senses, it becomes overwhelming.”

“Pretty difficult to grasp” -said my girlfriend watching me a bit dazed. “It is” I replied, “I would have never imagined that it would have been like that.”

We continued our walk while enjoying our ice creams and continuing our chat about the feelings and how I was experiencing all these sorts of things. I remember I said that the power of the imagination was getting at its pick and basically everything could be imagined. Now, of course, everything can be imagined, but when you imagine something you can definitely say that what you thought happened only in your head and you are 100% sure that it didn’t happen in the world around you; under LSD that is not the case anymore! You can imagine whatever you want and that thing is perceived so real that you don’t know anymore if something really happened or not! 

“So are you saying that you can basically imagine anything and perceive it as a real?” -Asked my girlfriend “Yes” I said, “and I feel that I have to be careful to what to imagine.” I was continuing when she interrupted me with “Ok then imagine that I am an ice cream!” so I watched her and… WOW! She became an ICE CREAM! With her beautiful smile, her face was popping out the spoons of cream and was standing in front of me within the cone! I could definitely see it and we were having so much fun with it. “Come on honey” -she said, “come to have a taste of me!” so I hugged her and while laughing I licked her cheek like a five years old boy would do having his first ice cream.

ice-cream-girl

That’s pretty close to what I saw, even though she is not my actual girlfriend!

We were standing in the park finishing our ice creams while enjoying the Sun and the fresh air, even though the temperature was getting a bit stiff, the sensations were still very intense and we left the park continuing our walk.

End of part 2

 

 

PART 3 (THE LAST ONE IS COMING SOON)

 

 

SOURCES

 

  • [1] Science of ‘the Dress’: Why We Confuse White & Gold with Blue & Black [Link]
  • [2] The Science Behind the Dress [Link]
  • [3] Video: What Colour Is This Dress? (SOLVED with SCIENCE) [Link

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